I have less than 2 months until my first AS exam and I am no where NEAR ready. I have made so many mistakes and I regret so many things especially since I KNEW what I had to do to get 4 A’s from the BEGINNING yet I still did not do it. In fact I am on basically C’s with the odd B or D. I am really scared and everybody around me thinks I am unable to do it, obviously they don’t say that but they are thinking it. I complain constantly and each time I go home and I do the very thing that is going to cause more complaining – I don’t study how I should. I have wasted so much fucking time and I wish I could go back and change everything but I cannot. I have learnt my mistake and now its time to make it right. Nobody truly believes I can get 4 A’s at this stage, even my own dad (who basically only accepts straight A’s and pushes me to my limit) has said it would be unrealistic to expect to get 4 A’s. Everyone around me has acknowledged that it is way too late to get all A’s and that maybe a mixture of B’s and A’s is more realistic. BUT I BELIEVE I CAN DO IT!!
I am making my timetable tonight and I am going to put an IMMENSE amount of work in (way more than the average), I am going to complete past paper after past paper, I am going to cover everything I should have covered and I am GOING IN FOR GOLD. I know this is not going to be easy because its not something most people do and there is a very small chance that I will actually succeed in my goal but I am going to push myself and zone out on EVERYTHING apart from studying. I will do hours of efficient work to make up for all the hours lost and I will not stop for a break until exams are over. I don’t even know if I will have time for homework but I do know that I will spend my every waking minute to achieve 4 A’s !! I know this will be difficult and there are even times now where I am thinking “is this worth it?” “do I really want to go into medicine anyway” “if nobody thinks i can then maybe i cant” “should i just give up” but then;
If I can successfully achieve this goal then I KNOW I can do ANYTHING! This is not simply revision this is HARD CORE INTENSE STUDYING AT GOLD STANDARDS AND NOT GIVING UP revision. I will stop complaining about things I am able to change, I will stick to my revision time table like there is not tomro, I will not get distracted, I will leave everything I have behind for a small time of 2 months and I WILL GET 4 A’s!!! Sigh I hope I can actually do this. So what am I waiting for? Tonight will be the start of my GOING FOR GOLD MARATHON and please do wish me good luck cause god knows I’ll need it!
I will update you guys on how revision is going and maybe post a few weekly goals but for now I am zoning out of real life and into hard core studying.